Jeremy's World

Ok, I kind of did.  My last blog entry also posted to my Facebook profile.  In addition to the insightful comments here, it sparked quite the heated debate there!  But you know what?  That’s awesome (even though it got out of hand).  It means people are passionate about their beliefs.  And, that’s a good thing for the things that really matter.

I have a lot of replies to send to folks and will try to do that soon.  In the mean time (since I’m horrible about writing) there are a few common themes to respond to though:

You just need to find a good church
That’s a natural reaction.  Jenn and I have been burned by “bad churches” before, and the natural response to someone leaving a church is that it must be a bad church or we just aren’t being “fed.”  That isn’t the case here.  Connections Church is amazing.  It is the most accepting and community-oriented church I’ve ever experienced.  Sure, it has its issues, but every organization, church or otherwise, does.  In sum though, it’s an amazing place for Christians or for people considering Christianity as the answer to life’s questions.  If that’s you and you’re in the Triangle-area, check out Connections sometime.  The pastor, Fred Turner, is one of the most real, genuine, and honest people I know.  I fully expect (and hope!) to maintain that friendship even though we don’t see each other on Sundays.  And, for the sake of people choosing the Christian path, I hope Connections continues to thrive.

The “find a good church” comment misses my point.  Christian churches, at least those I’ve experienced, by definition base their beliefs solely on Biblical scripture as the word of God.  There are varieties there in terms of inspired vs. direct word of God, literal or figurative interpretation, etc.  But at the core, the Bible defines the tradition.  And, the New Testament teaches us how to live based on God revealing himself through the person of Jesus.  That is the issue I have, not the quality of the church or the inherent flaws of human organizations.

Because the Bible tells me so
For me, right now in my soul searching, basing an argument for Christianity based on the Bible isn’t adequate and is a circular position.  Doing so automatically discounts/eliminates every other tradition or spiritual thinking.  And, the Bible came from a very small group of one race of people.  I find it difficult to buy in that the creator of everything would only focus on revealing himself to a single, small group of people.  Modern critical Biblical scholarship even questions the authenticity of much of it and the reliability of the canon as opposed to what else might be out there.  Can I base my life on something with so many questions like that?

Again I’ll go back to what I think is the automatic arrogance of the Judeo-Christian Bible.  Why do we think that’s the only revelation of God to humanity?  I’ve written before about the “metaphorical Jesus” which I can still get behind because it is not exclusive to a single tradition or people group.  Who are we to say God spoke to the Jews and then came to earth in the person of Jesus?  What about the Hindu?  What about the Buddhist?  What about the Native American?  What about the Aztec? What about the [fill in the blank]?  Are their experiences false?  Did a creating being not reveal Him/Her/Itself to those groups too?  Who is to say Paul had specific insight that others didn’t and that his “rules” on things are any more valid than yours or mine?  If you believe that, what is that belief based on?

God exists…no he doesn’t…yes he does…
My struggle isn’t about whether or not God exists.  I believe someone/something created all of this stuff.  I don’t know what form that takes or whether or not He/She/It remains actively involved in creation or not.  Right now I tend to think not so much.  There is too much evil in the world for an omnipotent and omnipresent God to be actively involved in that.

This naturally leads to the next issue for me…If I believe a creator exists, how should I relate to Him/Her/It if at all?  Were we created to have a relationship with a creating being?  Or are we created to interact with each other, and the creating being isn’t involved or interested?  Does “having a relationship with the creator” automatically humanize God by assuming or insisting that the notion of human relationships is even relevant to a being like that?

God is bigger than us.  We’re just flawed humans & can’t understand him
No doubt.  Something/someone able to create all of this is WAY over our heads.  Given that, doesn’t that fuel an argument that one, single tradition can’t be the only way?  We’re taking the unknowable, higher power being and limiting Him/Her/It by saying a being of that magnitude would choose one set of people and those not reached by those people with their message are screwed?  Doesn’t it seem reasonable – even probable – that a creator would, in the spirit of the lost sheep, provide a path to “salvation” (or whatever our purpose is) to all of creation?  If we say He/She/It did provide that path through the Jewish carpenter’s son, that falls short for me.  Followers of that guy can’t, don’t, and won’t reach all of humanity no matter how hard they try.

People, some who have commented here, some who are my very close friends and family, have experienced hurt and pain far greater than me and still maintain their faith in their God.  More power to you!  If people take comfort and strength in that and find joy in the “relationship” they have built, that’s awesome.  If people believe they can pray to that God and that doing so makes a difference, great.  I’m not suggesting anyone should change a belief because of my journey (who the hell am I to suggest something like that?!).  What I am saying is that the Christian view in which I’ve lived for 36 years no longer satisfies.  I can’t identify only as a Christian anymore (which is why I needed to leave Connections).  For me, our purpose has to be bigger than that.  Whatever created us has to be bigger than that.  I need to be able to live in a bigger, wider, inclusive world-view.  I’ll find it, even if the journey is confusing, frustrating, discouraging and painful.  Maybe I already have…Maybe it’s as simple as not drawing cultural, political, religious or nationalistic lines and just loving each other and making the world a better place.

Thanks for reading…That’s really cool.